When Food Rules Make You Feel Like a Bad Parent
(But You’re Actually Just Trying to Survive)
Ah, another day, another headline about what you should be feeding your child.
Or, more accurately, what you shouldn’t be feeding them.
Just when you thought you were doing okay, along comes another list of food rules that make you want to crawl under the table with the half-finished sugary protein drink your kid refused this morning.
Let’s take a moment to acknowledge the latest batch of recommendations:
Limit food dyes! (Red Dye No. 3, you’re finally gonna go down.)
Kids should mostly drink water or plain milk. (Goodbye, juice, flavored milks, and anything with artificial sweeteners.)
Avoid processed meats. (Farewell, hot dogs, bacon, pepperoni and the only protein source your child will willingly eat.)
Eat organic. (Because groceries aren’t expensive enough!)
Check your water for nitrates. (Oh good, another thing to worry about.)
Ugh.
Let’s talk…
I love the idea of serving children whole grains, lean proteins, and all the natural, brightly colored fruits and veggies.
It sounds so… wholesome.
But here’s the problem: You know your child won’t eat those foods.
And if you’re parenting a selective eater—whether it’s due to sensory issues, oral motor challenges, or just good old-fashioned toddler pickiness—these guidelines don’t feel helpful. They feel impossible.
When Your Child’s “Safe Food” is on the Banned List
Imagine reading that juice should be limited when it’s the only way your child gets any fruit in their diet.
Or that processed meats are bad when you just celebrated the fact that your kid finally ate a protein that wasn’t a chicken nugget.
Or that flavored milk isn’t ideal when it’s the only way your child drinks anything other than air.
For many of you, feeding your kids isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about survival.
And I’m here to tell you that is okay!!
When the world keeps moving the goalposts, it’s easy to feel like you’re failing.
But here’s the thing: You’re not.
What If We Looked at These Guidelines as Aspirational?
What if, instead of seeing these recommendations as rules you’re failing to follow, you saw them as guidelines to work toward—when and if your child is ready? What if you acknowledged that, yes, you’d love for your child to eat a diet of wild-caught salmon and organic quinoa, but in the meantime, you’re going to focus on keeping them fed, safe, and loved?
Because let’s be honest—if feeding your child was easy, you’d be doing it already.
No one wants to rely on boxed mac and cheese or fruit snacks.
But sometimes, that’s what works. And working with what you can do—without shame or guilt—is what really matters.
Let’s Make Mealtimes Easier
If you’re tired of the battles, the guilt, and the feeling that you’re somehow getting it all wrong, I’ve got something that might help.
Grab my comprehensive free guide with actionable tips to end mealtime struggles and make feeding your child a little less stressful. Because no parent should feel like they’re failing just for keeping their kid nourished.
At the end of the day, you are doing an amazing job.
Your child is fed, loved, and safe.
And that is what really matters.
Hugs,
Brenda
